28 HURRICANES PREDICTED TO HIT FLORIDA IN NEXT 30 DAYS

An exclusive report by Johnny and "Tommy" Eskimo

Many people in Central Florida thought that they had enough when four hurricanes whipped through the area in one season. But according to Eskimo Action News Chief Meterologist Tommy Sorrells, we ain't seen nothing yet.

"I have looked at the Doppler 3000, VIPIR, TITAN, STORMSTER 12X, and none of them predicted what the nearly $100 Eskimo Megaweather 8000 has. 28 Hurricanes in the next 30 days. I am just thankful that now we are going to be able to save lives. I am also thankful that my face will be splattered on local television every minute of every hour for the next 30 days." Replied Sorrells.



After the MegaWeather 8000 spit out the chilling reality, The News Team hit the streets to find out what Central Floridians would do to prepare themselves for 28 hurricanes in 30 days.

"I am still going to Orlando Jai-Alai." Stated a disgruntled Ted James. "I know that they got plenty of generators to keep the cold air flowin and plenty of foreigners to keep the Jai-Alai balls flyin!"

Another Floridian was a little more unique in his approach to the upcoming hurricanes. "I have been building an underground fortress since Hurricane Charlie." Stated 68-year old Longwood Resident Milton Jefferson. "Everybody thought that I was crazy when I started digging but just you wait." Mr Jefferson's fortress is 75 feet long and three feet deep and holds six igloo coolers filled with Brunswick Stew from Smokey Bones.. "That stuff is great.. Did you know that there is actually 8 different kinds of meat in it? That will get me through this hurricane season. I might also try to finish that lightsaber I have been working on." Commented Mr. Jefferson.



Other local news stations are dumbfounded at our predictions. "I have no idea who Johnny Eskimanto is." Stated puzzled local news host Marla Weech, "But I guarantee you that there is not going to be 28 hurricanes in 30 days in Florida."

Johnny Eskimo begged to differ, "I beg to differ... apparently Marla hasn't seen the 400 foot tower and the sweet computer system of MegaWeather 8000. That system set me back nearly $100."



Only time will tell is MegaWeather 8000 was worth the massive price tag but one thing is for sure, if one person leaves the state and improves the traffic situation for the rest of us, it was well worth the price.